Terrence’s Blog

These are the 10 essentials of gay dating. I don’t go for the stereotypical shit…

1. Attractive: This is very subjective, if you don’t find the other person attractive, don’t waste your time. It must be a mutual thing. You can still be friends with people you aren’t attracted to, so don’t discount them as a friend, but be clear that you don’t find them attractive in a sexual way early on.
2. Respect: You need to have respect for the person and they should also respect you in the same way. This could be as little as helping clean up after dinner to something more important like jokes told in the company of friends.
3. Go Dutch: You should never pay for the other person to start off. You should both be able to pay for yourselves and be comfortable in your own lives. It seems to be the trend in the gay community for one person to pick up the tab, I’ve fallen victim to this too many times.
4. Trust: This one is built over time, but you should have trust that you will adhere to whatever boundaries you decide the dating will fall into. I, for instance, believe in a monogamous relationship. I don’t want anything coming into my house or body that I don’t know. That includes diseases.
5. Boundaries: Again, you must both set the boundaries of the relationship. What you both expect to get and to receive. This might seem tough to do when you start dating, but it needs to be dealt with early.
6. Location: You should not mind traveling between the two places of dwelling. If it’s not feasible it needs to be discussed. Long distance relationships are hard and humans just aren’t built for those.
7. Communication: You should both be able to communicate effectively with each other. This is VERY important in any relationship. Effectively communicating needs and wants are essential to a healthy life.
8. Shared Ideals: You should share some of the same ideals. Life, family, love, and the like.
9. Hobbies: This is not essential, but it helps with conversation and things to do. It’s nice to share some of the same hobbies, but you can also develop these along the way. Essentially, you should like doing things together, regardless of what it is.
10. Friendship: Try to develop a friendship before you get to the more meaningful parts of a relationship. You should want to hang out with this person more than your other friends. If not, then it probably won’t last.

Well, this past week caught me by surprise. I was apparently scheduled for training. It didn’t warn me until about 5 minutes before my meeting and our HR reminded me the day before. So that sucked up 3 days of my week. Then on Friday we had a 4th of July party.

Anyway, so that took me some getting used to. I also had to miss my training this week because meetings were rescheduled and I had to catch up on work. So, this week I’m back in the swing of things.

I just got back from visiting the guy I’m dating right now. He’s really sweet. A bit shy, and he lives about 30-45min away. That’s not too bad, except traffic really depends on when I get out there. He’s got a wonderful house, it’s 4 bedrooms or some such things. It’s huge. I was surprised when I saw it.

I started playing this game again, called Eve Online. We’ll see how it goes. I get bored easily so if it holds my attention it’s a winner, if not then it’s on to something else. Maybe I need a more productive hobby.

Other than that stuff life is good. I’m just keeping busy, trying to figure some things out. Since I broke up with my ex I’ve had a LOT more expendable income and more is going into savings. So I’m happy about that.

Alrighty, time to figure out what’s for dinner.

Just finished paying some bills now. Good lord, why are they always so pricey? haha

Oh well, I guess I’ll be frugal for a couple of weeks.

Place: Jason’s Deli

Meal: Tomato Basil Soup and Salad

Drink: H2O

Let’s a take a minute to look at what the potential risks of social networking are.

• Name and Online Identity are now linked.
• Address Information is online linked to your name.
• Personally Identifying information is possibly linked to your name and e-mail address.

The list could go on forever.

So it boils down to, don’t put the information into a form if you don’t want it to be viewable by everyone.

Change your passwords every 3 months or if you think someone might know it.

Don’t use the same e-mail address for banking/social networks.

Use different passwords for each financial service you have, you can use the same password for non-critical online services. Your e-mail IS A CRITICAL SERVICE!

Try to use SSL (the little lock icon will be visible as locked). This will ensure secure communications.

There are other items, but those will work for now.

Let’s start with the Living room first. We want online the items in the Living room that we absolutely need to make the atmosphere seem cozy and hospitable for guests.

1. Sofa/Couch or other comfortable and clean seating. I can’t emphasize enough how important it is for the seating to be clean. Noone feels comfortable sitting in filth.

2. Coffee table or other item to set drinks on while sitting around on the seating and socializing. This is a must. I can’t tell you how awkward it is to sit around with nowhere to put your drink.

3. Lighting. This one is to taste, but the lighting should be bright enough to comfortably read, but not so bright as to make people squint or see off a shiny forehead!

4. Television, this one is not essential to everyone, but it’s essential to me since I only have one living space and it must house my television to watch movies and do other entertaining with. I sometimes put photos on it, etc.

5. Storage for movies, etc. This is essential, you want to hide all of the knick knacky stuff so that it doesn’t draw attention away from what is important, i.e. your guests!

6. Wall handings should be profound, but not distracting. Again, you want something to make the room feel comfortable, but not to take attention away from your guests. This is also different for every style of living room. Huge color transitions might be distracting in one home, but not in another.

7. Clock, you want to always have the time displayed somewhere in the living area so that your guests don’t have to take out their phones or look at their watches. I think this one is important, but others might not. I figure I’m not running a casino, so I don’t mind if my guests know what time it is.

Finally, everythin else must go. Just move it to the bedroom which we will tackle later. As our last stop, that will be the area where we actually pair down to our bare essentials.

A not of impotance for everyone. Since I am a tech geek, all my technology will probably take more precedence, but I do like to hide things when I can. This means that I like my tech to be readily available to me, but to not be seen or heard by guests. This isn’t so much possible right now since my living space is quite small, but when I buy a home, it’s ON!

Well, today I’ve decided I need to streamline all the cables and tech setup in my apartment. It’s just out of control. I also need to get rid of some things as well. I’ve just got too much stuff lying around. So first thing will be the Living room.

I will make a list of the places that need work.

1. Living Room/Dining Room

2. Kitchen

3. Bathroom

4. Bedroom

5. Laundry Room

6. Balchony

I will make each of these a seperate blog starting with the Living Room.

Place: West Egg

Meal: Huevos Rancheros with Grits

Drink: Coffee/Water

It was brunch, so sue me!

Dinner was even worse. Back on the diet full bore tomorrow.

1. Dinner Top Chef – For this first date idea you’ll want to pick a theme for your meal and you’ll go to a super market and you’ll each have a list of item categories you need to fill. You can buy anything and you have a cap on how much you can spend.
   When you have purchased your items, your partner and you switch items and have to make a meal together. It’s can get competitive, but can also be a lot of fun. Try it out.
2. Theme Parks – Show your inner child by riding all the rides at your local theme park!
3. Comedy Club – Get your funny bone on with a comedy show, some even serve dinner.
4. Walking Through A Park – I’ve done this on almost all of my dates, I love going to the park and looking at all the people and seeing the dogs getting walked and talking to the person I’m with.
5. Movie and Dinner – This is always a winner, although I find it hard to talk through the movie, but cuddling is never a problem!
6. Scavenger Hunt – This works if you have a digital camera. You have to work together to pick a place and the items you think might be there that you’ll need to photograph. The goal is to get all of the items photographed with each of you in the picture with the item. It’s a good ice-breaker and it shows what type of personality the other person has.
7. Finding a Place Neither of you have gone… and going there together to explore!
8. Visiting the Local Art Museum – This can always be fun, especially if you both have a fancy for art!
9. Miniature Golf – Mini golf is always a fun and hilarious first date idea. If you can act like a goof with a tiny windmill thwarting your balls advances then you’ll have a great time.
10. Trivia Night – This is good at your local bar or eatery. They often have trivia nights, you can take them there to work together and WIN!

So I started playing city of heroes because I wanted something to do on my downtime at home. I figured it was more entertaining for me than watching Tv, plus my new laptop is awesome so it gives it a workout. Anyway… the game is fun. It does what I wanted it to do.