Terrence’s Blog

The Game

Take turns asking and answering the questions below. There are no exact rules. The idea is to have fun mostly with just the conversation. You can modify questions for younger children. You can introduce drawing or painting, singing or charades. You could throw a bean bag back and forth each time you do a new question? You can do this standing, sitting, or walking. It can be played inside, outside or over the phone. It’s not a competitive game. It’s a game of fun, warmth, and relationship building.

Print out the questions below. You can either take turns asking questions you like from the list or you can randomly choose numbers, whatever works for you. If other questions follow naturally, all the better. Let the conversation flow! Let us know how you modify the game for more fun!

The Questions (for any age – feel free to modify)

1. What is your favorite color?
2. Who do you admire most?
3. Who is your best friend?
4. What is your funniest habit?
5. What do you dislike/hate?
6. What was your favorite dream ever?
7. What was your scariest dream ever?
8. What famous person would you like to have dinner with? What would you talk about?
9. Have you ever dreamed you could fly?
10. What is your favorite smell?
11. What is your favorite song?
12. What do you like to do when you’re bored?
13. What’s your favorite adventure you’ve been on?
14. What are you most scared of?
15. If you could live anywhere and bring anyone you want, where would you live?
16. What place are you keen to visit? Far away and nearby.
17. What are you most proud of?
18. Did/Do you have an imaginary friend? Tell us more.
19. What is your favorite holiday? Why?
20. What is your favorite holiday memory?
21. What was the best and worst day of your life?
22. What is your favorite food? Least favorite?
23. What is your favorite word? Least favorite?
24. How do you express your creativity?
25. Where do you believe we come from before birth?
26. Where do you believe we go after death?
27. What is something that always makes you laugh?
28. What person always makes you laugh?
29. If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?
30. What would be the consequences if you got your wish?
31. Do you collect or live simply? Explain.
32. What drives you crazy?
33. What makes you smile?
34. What do you know about your heritage? Grandparents and back.
35. Do you have a favorite story from your family history?
36. What’s the most shocking thing you ever did?
37. What would you like to have a “do-over” on?
38. What is your favorite story to tell?
39. What’s your favorite animal? Why?
40. What is your favorite season? Why?
41. What is your favorite hobby?
42. What is your favorite thing to do on the weekends?
43. What one thing do you want to change in yourself?
44. When did you feel most alone?
45. When did you feel most happy?
46. What do you do to cheer yourself up?
47. With whom would you like to trade places for a day?
48. What makes you mad?
49. Do you want to have children?
50. What’s your favorite thing you own?
51. What do you wish you could do?
52. What are the colors of the numbers 1-10? Letters?
53. What are you afraid of?
54. What would your dream house be like?
55. Do you believe in angels?
56. Are you ticklish?
57. What is your favorite place?
58. What’s your favorite place in nature?
59. Which do you like better: hot or cold?
60. What was your favorite Halloween costume?
61. What was your favorite thing to do as a kid?
62. What is your favorite memory from high school? college? grade school?
63. What makes you sad?
64. What does your name mean? Why did your parents choose it?
65. What are your favorite clothes?
66. Who is your favorite person to talk to? Why?
67. What’s your favorite hiding place?
68. What do you want to be when you grow up?
69. What do you want people to remember you for?
70. What is your most annoying habit (to others)?
71. In your most difficult relationship, what makes it so?
72. How do you show compassion?
73. What are you always curious to learn more about?
74. Whom do you miss?
75. What do you like to teach?
76. What is your favorite gadget?
77. What do you like to write about?
78. What is your favorite “bad” thing to do?
79. What is your favorite movie?
80. Favorite book?
81. Favorite band? Song?
82. Do you like to go camping?
83. What fascinates you?
84. What makes you special?

Questions Especially (but not exclusively) for Young Children

1. Do you remember being born?
2. What’s your favorite story about when you were a baby?
3. What’s your favorite game?
4. Who is your favorite hero?
5. Who is the worst villain?
6. What can you do better than mommy, daddy or sibling?
7. What are you really good at?
8. If you could have any pet, which one would you choose?
9. If you have a child someday, what would you like to give to him/her?
10. What’s your favorite thing to cook with mommy/daddy?
11. What color are your eyes?
12. What color are you inside?
13. What word do you think is really funny?
14. What do you like to draw/paint?
15. What songs do you like to sing?
16. What is your favorite book/story?
17. Can you play music? How?
18. Where were you before you were born?
19. Why is the sky blue?
20. Why is there day and night?
21. What is mommy/daddy really good at?
22. Whom do you like to cuddle and kiss?
23. Where do fruits and vegetables come from? How?
24. If you were King/Queen of the house, what would you change? Rules, things, etc?
25. What wish would you ask of the wishing star?
26. How do you make people smile?
27. How do you make people laugh?
28. Is there anything special you can do with your body? (jumping, dancing, funny faces, etc)
29. What do you hope never happens?
30. What do you think is scary?
31. What do you notice when you go outside your house?
32. Which do you like better, sand or snow? Why?
33. What’s the scariest animal?
34. If you could be any animal, which would you choose? Why? What would you do?
35. Do you have any secrets to tell?
36. What is something you do every day?
37. Can you name all the people in your family? Extended family too.
38. What toy would you like to make?
39. What color is a smile?
40. What’s your favorite bug?
41. How do you know when you are tired?
42. How do you know when you are hungry?
43. What games do like to play when you’re alone?
44. Can you tell if an apple is good by how it looks on the outside?
45. What’s the funniest looking fruit or vegetable?
46. What are the morning sounds you hear?
47. What are the night sounds you hear?
48. What is your favorite park?
49. What do you like to do at the park?
50. What’s your favorite thing to do at the beach?
51. Can you see underwater?
52. How does a fish breathe?
53. Can you make a rhyme? Can you add a tune to it?
54. Which do you like better: the woods, the beach, mountains, field, etc?
55. What’s your favorite thing to do in summer? Winter?
56. What was life like in the old days?
57. Tell me about the dinosaurs.
58. Tell me about your brothers/sisters/cousins/friends?
59. What’s your favorite baby animal?
60. Do you ever fight? With whom? Why? How?
61. How do you show love?
62. How do you help someone who is sad/hurt/sick?
63. What ways do you help out with chores?
64. What does mommy/daddy/grandpa/grandma always tell you not to do?
65. Did you ever have a hard day? Why?
66. What is the most fun?
67. What is sooo funny?
68. What is your favorite thing to feel?
69. What rules do you get to make?
70. What is a star?
71. What is the moon? Why is it there?
72. What mysteries do you want to know?
73. What mysteries have you solved?
74. Did you ever track an animals footprints? Tell me more.
75. What’s your favorite game?
76. What do you always do before bed?
77. Describe yourself. Looks, type of person.

1. Resign from a commitment you
   

Most of this was my fault, but still it sucked. Ok, so I got a ticket for not registering my car with the state. I was about 8 months late, an oversight on my part. I immediately got my tag when i was cited, just because I didn’t realise. I forgot to pay the citation. WELL!!! Failure To Appear is apparently big business for the state of Georgia. They raked in a good $113.00 extra bucks on me.

That’s not even the good part. So I leave work at 12 to go find the court and get settled and everything in order, which I always do so I can get paperwork if needed. Well, I get lost going to the courthouse. There apparently were some road name changed in the area so the roads I was looking for weren’t labled correctly. I eventually found the parking lot that I parked in before and parked there. That took an hour. So I’m there about an hour before I’m supposed to register.

I go ahead and register, it’s about 1pm and the trials are at 3pm. So I go get something to eat, I hadn’t eaten lunch just yet. Well that took me a grand total of 20 minutes. So I sit in the waiting area for about an hour, then get a call from a vendor and then call my boss to discuss some things and get more work for myself in the process… grrr.

Anyway, so I get into the trial, I plead guilty, because I was. He reduces the fines and I’m on my way. Well I go pay and get a reinstatment for my license. WELL the lady at the cash register gives me the wrong person’s waiver! So I get to the DMV and I look at the waiver and I’m like, WTF!

So I drive all the way back to the court house, get the right form and then go BACK to the DMV and wait for about 30 minutes.

I’m just glad it’s over and out of the way. Now life can move on.

Hopefully this headache will go away soon.

These are the 10 essentials of gay dating. I don’t go for the stereotypical shit…

1. Attractive: This is very subjective, if you don’t find the other person attractive, don’t waste your time. It must be a mutual thing. You can still be friends with people you aren’t attracted to, so don’t discount them as a friend, but be clear that you don’t find them attractive in a sexual way early on.
2. Respect: You need to have respect for the person and they should also respect you in the same way. This could be as little as helping clean up after dinner to something more important like jokes told in the company of friends.
3. Go Dutch: You should never pay for the other person to start off. You should both be able to pay for yourselves and be comfortable in your own lives. It seems to be the trend in the gay community for one person to pick up the tab, I’ve fallen victim to this too many times.
4. Trust: This one is built over time, but you should have trust that you will adhere to whatever boundaries you decide the dating will fall into. I, for instance, believe in a monogamous relationship. I don’t want anything coming into my house or body that I don’t know. That includes diseases.
5. Boundaries: Again, you must both set the boundaries of the relationship. What you both expect to get and to receive. This might seem tough to do when you start dating, but it needs to be dealt with early.
6. Location: You should not mind traveling between the two places of dwelling. If it’s not feasible it needs to be discussed. Long distance relationships are hard and humans just aren’t built for those.
7. Communication: You should both be able to communicate effectively with each other. This is VERY important in any relationship. Effectively communicating needs and wants are essential to a healthy life.
8. Shared Ideals: You should share some of the same ideals. Life, family, love, and the like.
9. Hobbies: This is not essential, but it helps with conversation and things to do. It’s nice to share some of the same hobbies, but you can also develop these along the way. Essentially, you should like doing things together, regardless of what it is.
10. Friendship: Try to develop a friendship before you get to the more meaningful parts of a relationship. You should want to hang out with this person more than your other friends. If not, then it probably won’t last.

Well, this past week caught me by surprise. I was apparently scheduled for training. It didn’t warn me until about 5 minutes before my meeting and our HR reminded me the day before. So that sucked up 3 days of my week. Then on Friday we had a 4th of July party.

Anyway, so that took me some getting used to. I also had to miss my training this week because meetings were rescheduled and I had to catch up on work. So, this week I’m back in the swing of things.

I just got back from visiting the guy I’m dating right now. He’s really sweet. A bit shy, and he lives about 30-45min away. That’s not too bad, except traffic really depends on when I get out there. He’s got a wonderful house, it’s 4 bedrooms or some such things. It’s huge. I was surprised when I saw it.

I started playing this game again, called Eve Online. We’ll see how it goes. I get bored easily so if it holds my attention it’s a winner, if not then it’s on to something else. Maybe I need a more productive hobby.

Other than that stuff life is good. I’m just keeping busy, trying to figure some things out. Since I broke up with my ex I’ve had a LOT more expendable income and more is going into savings. So I’m happy about that.

Alrighty, time to figure out what’s for dinner.

• Denial and Isolation: The first reaction to learning of terminal illness or death of a cherished pet is to deny the reality of the situation. It is a normal reaction to rationalize overwhelming emotions. It is a defense mechanism that buffers the immediate shock. We block out the words and hide from the facts. This is a temporary response that carries us through the first wave of pain.
  • Well, I did this one already. I tried to save the relationship when it all came to a head and I told him to get out. I said that we might be able to date, but he quickly killed that by coming over when I had cooked a great meal for him for dinner completely drunk or high or both. He couldn’t form a coherent thought. That just proved he didn’t want to try.
• Anger: As the masking effects of denial and isolation begin to wear, reality and its pain re-emerge. We are not ready. The intense emotion is deflected from our vulnerable core, redirected and expressed instead as anger. The anger may be aimed at inanimate objects, complete strangers, friends or family. Anger may be directed at our dying or deceased pet. Rationally, we know the animal is not to be blamed. Emotionally, however, we may resent it for causing us pain or for leaving us. We feel guilty for being angry, and this makes us more angry. The veterinarian who diagnosed the illness and was unable to cure the disease, or who performed euthanasia of the pet, might become a convenient target. Health professionals deal with death and dying every day. That does not make them immune to the suffering of their patients or to those who grieve for them. Do not hesitate to ask your veterinarian to give you extra time or to explain just once more the details of your pet’s illness. Arrange a special appointment or ask that he telephone you at the end of his day. Ask for clear answers to your questions regarding medical diagnosis and treatment. Discuss the cost of treatment. Discuss burial arrangements. Understand the options available to you. Take your time. Both you and your veterinarian will find that honest and open communication now are an invaluable long-term investment.
  • I think I am actually going through this one now. I really am angry that he would choose alcohol and drugs over me. But that’s what an addict does, so that’s something I don’t need to be angry about, but still… I am.
    
• Bargaining: The normal reaction to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability is often a need to regain control. If only we had sought medical attention sooner. If we got a second opinion from another doctor. If we changed our pet’s diet, maybe it will get well. Secretly, we may make a deal with God or our higher power in an attempt to postpone the inevitable. This is a weaker line of defense to protect us from the painful reality.
  • I did this one during our relationship, told him I’d do what he needed so that he didn’t have to drink. But again, this puts the burden of his choices on me and that’s not something I needed to do.
• Depression: Two types of depression are associated with mourning. The first one is a reaction to practical implications relating to the loss. Sadness and regret predominate. We worry about the cost of treatment and burial. We worry that, in our grief, we have spent less time with others that depend on us. This phase may be eased by simple clarification and reassurance. We may need a bit of helpful cooperation and a few kind words. The second type of depression is more subtle and, in a sense, perhaps more private. It is our quiet preparation to separate and to bid our pet farewell. Sometimes all we really need is a hug.
  • Well, I never knew why I was down all the time, but it was him and his choices. I felt second to his drugs and alcohol and his dipshit friends. Most of his friends are pretty much worthless, can’t hold down jobs, are alcoholics, or in some other way just don’t have their shit together. Again, that’s his choice.
• Acceptance: Reaching this stage of mourning is a gift not afforded to everyone. Death may be sudden and unexpected or we may never see beyond our anger or denial. It is not necessarily a mark of bravery to resist the inevitable and to deny ourselves the opportunity to make our peace. This phase is marked by withdrawal and calm. This is not a period of happiness and must be distinguished from depression.
  • I will get here one day, I’ll accept his fucked up life. I’m not sure I’ll be in it right now, but again he made his choices and they don’t coincide with my life goals at all. Drugs and alcoholism just aren’t something I want to deal with. So we’ll see what the future holds.

I seem to have a knack for picking the most fucked up of the bunch so I’m going to try a lot harder to take things much slower. I do miss him, but I don’t miss the worrying and all that stuff, so it’s a relief and also hard to be alone and to lose something that I spent a long time nurturing. He didn’t do much for our relationship. I realize that now.

Well, my ex contacted me GChat. Asked how I was doing. I told him the truth and that I hope he does well and that I’m sure he’ll meet someone better. He said ‘ok’.

I have removed him from facebook, gchat, and myspace. It just hurts too much to even see him after what I feel like I’ve contributed and he’s taken. I feel used, not so much financially, but emotionally. He’ll eventually realize he’s got a problem(s) and face it. I hope.

Next time, I’m not going down that road. I want love and partnership, not me babysitting a spoiled child all the time. Worrying if he’ll come home one night at 4am and pass out in bed from getting fucked up on alcohol and pot. Then waking up at 5:30am to go into our living room and piss on all of the computer equipment in there. Not knowing where he is and denying that he ever did anything like that.

I will let him fuck up his own life… without me!

We’ll see where things lead… I just need to relax and I’m stuck at work for another 3 hours.

At this point he hasn’t called me in a few days. If you really wanted someone that wouldn’t happen, so I figure he’s just done with it or seeing someone else. You don’t just do that to someone. He said he was undependable, so that makes sense. I’m pretty much over it at this point. It’s not worth my time to worry about what he’s doing with his life.

I shall take a deep breath and go out and make friends. Anywho, thanks to all my friends who have been there for me and understand what I’m going through. I appreciate it.

This book was great! The world that Perry create is not a vividly rich world, but the character’s were well put together and the plot was good up until one point when someone from the main character’s life suddenly comes back. That made no sense to me. Well, it made sense but didn’t quite fit. It seemed to have been put there to tie some things together that were not well thought out.

For a quick 2 day read for me this was a great book and I recommend giving it a go.

Haha, this is so appropriate at this point. I’m WORKING ON IT LIFE!!! So there.